


Ocean waves

by Parachutes



Category: Dangan Ronpa, Dangan Ronpa - All Media Types, Super Dangan Ronpa 2
Genre: Angst, Fluff, M/M, Self-Harm, cheesy fluff, everything I guess lol, nagito struggles, not too much or too graphic but I guess I should mention it, probably, rating will change later probably, set after the hope arc, spoilers for the 2nd game and the anime's connected to it
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-03-05
Updated: 2017-03-14
Packaged: 2018-09-28 13:33:21
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 5,152
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10104953
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Parachutes/pseuds/Parachutes
Summary: "Nagito wanted to do many things at that point – he wanted to embrace him, to push him away, to kiss him, to strangle him, to touch his face and to yell at him. But he couldn’t do all of those things, and he felt his expression forcing into a smile, when he realized there was an opening in Hajime’s words. Through which he could escape."In which two different worldviews are starting to conflict in Nagito's mind, and he wants to hold on as much as he wants to let go. Hajime doesn't make it much easier.





	1. Ocean waves

**Author's Note:**

> Heyo~  
> I got into Danganronpa... Welp. And honestly, I'm so late. Why didn't I know earlier the story was this good?  
> Anyways. Komahina.  
> This short story is the first one of a series of one shots I am planning to write. They will show the development of Nagito and Hajime's relationship, and at the same time, it will focus on the development of Nagito's self image, worldview and twisted insecurities.  
> So yea, first (very short) part, ayeee~  
> I'd love to hear your opinions. :)  
> As always, English is not my first language so I apologize in advance for my mistakes! Please do point them out.  
> Oh, rating will probably go up at some point... But eh, only if I'm brave enough.

It was a warm summer evening. A soft breeze was quietly blowing through the tops of the palm trees, causing the leaves to make comforting rustling sounds. The sky was very clear tonight; many stars were visible and Nagito found himself lying on the soft sand, enchanted by them. He knew he was very lucky to be able to just look at them in such a carefree way, free from trouble, free from despair. The stars were always a curious mix between both hope and despair if you asked him – they were so beautiful they would make your eyes sparkle in wonder, but at the same time they made you realize just how small and insignificant your existence was in this big wide world. Nagito didn’t mind that though – the realization that they were here on this island, far away from the world which they had thrown into despair years earlier – it made him calm down. They didn’t have the right to see and experience what the new world had become after they’d destroyed it themselves. So here they were, forever not knowing how beautifully hopeful the world would be. But that was alright, because not knowing the hope of the new world was the best way to atone for their sins. Especially for him, the hope obsessed boy, unable to lay eyes upon the sight of the one thing he had been waiting for: the hope born from destroying the ultimate despair that he had been part of. Yes, it was a very fitting punishment for someone like him.

Instead, he was now living his life on this island, a life that had been cured from the terrible disease he had been suffering from. By a wonderful man, that was now walking towards him – Nagito could tell from the sound of his footsteps. It was sometimes a little difficult to be with him. His appearance was the one thing that kept him healthy and alive, and obviously he did not deserve such a thing. But… the man was still Hinata Hajime, who was the first person Nagito had ever wanted to call a friend. Even when he didn’t deserve it. Even when he was unworthy. He made him weak and lazy, no longer wanting to remind himself that he was just a stepladder.

‘You’re already here,’ Hajime stated, while sitting down next to him.

Immediately, Nagito pushed himself up in a sitting position. ‘Of course I am, someone like me should arrive first so the other person doesn’t have to wait for me.’

Hajime just stared at him for a while with a bored expression hidden in his deep heterochromia red and green eyes. It made Nagito slightly nervous, so he let out a small uncomfortable laugh. Hajime’s eyes were always so deep, so hypnotizing in a way that made an insignificant being like him unable to look away.

‘So, you wanted to see me? I’m very happy with that, Hinata-kun, but it is quite unusual for you to ask something like that.’

‘Well, yeah,’ Hajime said. He was no longer staring at Nagito with his intense eyes, but was watching the waves going back and forth between the beach and the ocean. ‘I wanted to talk to you about something.’

‘What’s that? So unusual.’

Irritated, Hajime’s eyes turned to face him with a sidelong glance. ‘Just want to make sure you’re doing alright,’ he said finally. ‘Supposedly, you have been cured by my powers, but after some months spending on the island here, I want to know how you’re doing. It’s kinda… You’re falling back in your old habits. And you’re not really the type to start a conversation about something like this, so yeah.’ He awkwardly scratched the back of his head.

Nagito couldn’t help but let out a laugh, trying to hide the fact that the ‘old habits’ part of Hajime’s words made him uncomfortable. Because the other boy had it wrong – it was exactly the opposite. ‘Of course not, Hinata-kun. I should just keep my own problems to myself, no need to trouble you with that. Besides, I-’

He couldn’t finish his sentence, because faster than Nagito had been able to register the movement, Hajime had grabbed his shoulders forcefully and locked their eyes together.

Nagito blinked at the sudden closeness, unsure what to do with the conflicting feelings inside of him, wanting to run away and never let Hajime go at the same time.

‘Hinata…kun?’ he spoke when the other boy seemed to have no intention of speaking.

As if awakening from his frozen state, Hajime then carefully let go of him with a sigh.

‘I want you to tell me when you’re having problems,’ he said, not facing him. ‘I don’t want you to face them alone. We’re stuck here on this island together for the rest of our lives after all.’

Nagito wanted to do many things at that point – he wanted to embrace him, to push him away, to kiss him, to strangle him, to touch his face and to yell at him. But he couldn’t do all of those things, and he felt his expression forcing into a smile, when he realized there was an opening in Hajime’s words. Through which he could escape.

‘Well, we’re not the only ones here. Do you intend to shoulder everyone’s problems? You’re spending too much time with the likes of us. You are no real remnant of despair and you know it. You don’t deserve this punishment at all. Why don’t you go back to see the world?’

Hajime said nothing and the silence was suffocating.

‘You didn’t even need to save us, you know. Of course a lowly being like me was happy with his life being saved, but it was ridiculous that you did it. We don’t deserve this. I don’t deserve this.’

 _Huh? What was this?_ He was rambling. He, Komaeda Nagito, was rambling. Which was something he never really did. Unless it was about hope. But this was not about hope at all. This was about his stupid sorrowful self that didn’t need any attention at all.

‘We’ve talked about this,’ Hajime said, still watching the waves go back, forth, back, and forth.

‘Naegi gave us all a second chance because he believed in us, and he was right. Enoshima was the one who threw you all in despair, before that there was only hope inside of all of you.’

‘Them, maybe,’ Nagito felt himself smile. Absently, he stared at his mechanical hand, that was once the hand of the one and only Enoshima Junko. It was disgusting. ‘But not me. I don’t deserve any of this.’

‘I’m staying here because I want to be with you guys. And I want to be with you.’

‘That’s because I will die if you leave me. Going through the effort of saving me would have been worthless then.’

‘I wouldn’t leave even if you wouldn’t die.’

Nagito laughed. His head was throbbing and it was hard not to get lost in the words the other boy was telling him. It was ridiculous. Because he wasn’t shooting words at him, like he did during the class trials in the past, no, instead he was very carefully, softly talking to him in a comforting voice.

‘Komaeda… no, Nagito… I want you to let go of your self-loathing. Didn’t you chose to believe in creating our own future? What happened to that? You need to let go of seeing the world through your good luck and bad luck cycle. If you don’t… you cannot create your own future. You’ll be no more than a prisoner.’

Hajime was close, ridiculously close, almost whispering those words in his ear and Nagito had honestly already lost track the moment Hajime had decided to call him by his first name.

‘I… don’t know how to do that,’ he breathed, staring very hard at the ocean waves. ‘I’m too insignificant to look at the world like that, see?’

He could hear Hajime sighing in an irritated way, and despite the conversation and atmosphere, Nagito found himself smiling slightly at that – Hajime was so impatient. It was cute.

‘Well, then you just have to learn it,’ he said.

Suddenly, he pushed himself up until he was standing. Nagito was watching him. Behind Hajime, the ocean waves pushed and pulled. Then, the other boy started walking and Nagito couldn’t stop his voice from reaching out to him.

‘Ah, you just came to tell me that?’ He sounded hopeful. It was ridiculous. He was so weak. He had no right to stand beside him, not even the right to reach out. They were miles apart in significance. Wait, no… he was still Hinata Hajime right, the reverse course student? He was much more Hinata Hajime then he was Kamukura Izuru. They were kind of the same, right, Hajime and him? His head hurt… It hurt so much… He wanted to fight, but it was also very tempting to just give in…

‘No, I forgot something,’ Hajime then said dryly and in the blink of an eye, he was in front of him on his knees. Something was touching Nagito’s cheek and he was scared but still looked to find what he had been afraid of – Hajime was lightly touching his face and Nagito’s heart was stupid and weak because it was starting to beat faster…

Carefully, he allowed himself to look at Hajime’s face. He was biting his lip awkwardly, a slight blush lighting his cheeks, his eyes anywhere but on Nagito’s. And his heart jumped because it was so cute, but he really had to push him away now, laugh this off and say something about being unworthy and Hajime acting strange or… something…

Then it was too late, because Hajime’s eyes met his all of a sudden, and Nagito was losing himself because they were so deep, so beautiful.

Hajime kissed him.

First quickly and light, like the brush of a feather, then once again, still soft but more determined. His hands caressed Nagito’s face and oh god, he didn’t deserve this, he didn’t deserve this… But Hajime pushed a little – he was impatient, always impatient… and suddenly Nagito couldn’t control his hands anymore and he had no idea how they ended up in the other boy’s hair, tugging a little, causing Hajime to let out an interesting sound that Nagito probably wouldn’t forget for the rest of his life. Then, the tiny bit that was left of his mind vanished completely when Hajime bit his lip in order to deepen the kiss. His soft, strong hands were everywhere, stroking his hair, caressing his cheeks, tugging at the hem of his shirt… Absently, in the back of his lost mind Nagito registered that Hajime smelled like the home he had always wanted.

They were drowning, drowning, nothing in this whole wide world but them. There was no hope, no despair, just the two of them and it was maybe the first time in his whole life that Nagito felt consciously safe and at ease. It was messy, it was experienced, it was perfect. _He was perfect._

It was over way too soon, however, when Hajime broke their kiss and Nagito just wanted to pull him back and cling to him for his dear life. _Was this… the absolute hope he had always been looking for?_

He only realized he was reaching out for Hajime when the boy took his hand and squeezed it gently before pushing him back. Their eyes met once again, and oh, he was so beautiful. The blush teasing his cheeks slightly, the way he nervously scratched his head but still had those deep, mysterious eyes that seemed to hide a determination that Hajime could always eventually grasp. He managed that now, too, smiling softly at Nagito before speaking his words.

‘Nagito, I want to stay with you because I fell in love with you. And I… want you to carefully think about what those words mean. Because I don’t want to take advantage of you. And I don’t want to hurt you or think you need to devote yourself to me. I want you to start loving yourself a little more first… before you say anything about this confession.’

His head was spinning, couldn’t think, and couldn’t feel. The one thing he wanted was to say he was mistaken and could not fall in love with someone as insignificant as he was. That he didn’t deserve love. But that was just the normal thing that he would say, and he was definitely thinking all of that. And that was alright, that was safe, Nagito understood himself like that. But… Hajime’s lips had been so soft, his touch so delicate, while his hands were so strong… His deep, deep eyes so serious, so… full of serenity. And a small part of Nagito, wanted all of it for himself. Nothing in the world had ever scared him more than that _selfish_ feeling.

It was ridiculous – Nagito didn’t know he was even still capable of feeling fear. It was so ridiculous, that he couldn’t help but letting his face fall in his hands. An idiotic laughter took over his body and he shivered as he laughed, while salty tears wetted the palms of his hands.

Soft footsteps walked away slowly after some time, and Nagito was left alone on that beach, accompanied only by the ocean waves moving back and forth, pushing and pulling.


	2. Grey void

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello~ Instead of making this a series, I decided to just upload the next parts as chapters to the first one shot. This because you won't be able to read the chapters as stand alone's. They are 'real' continuations, instead of connected chapters (like my other series). So yea, just so you know. :) 
> 
> I wasn't sure how to feel about this chapter, still don't really know. But I decided to keep it the way I wrote it first - just because I do believe Nagito's thoughts are as messed up as I wrote them (maybe even more). I'm having difficulties with this because Nagito 'seems' more calm and at ease in the hope arc, but I do believe he still has all those thoughts and insecurities bottled up inside. But that makes this chapter kind of dark and depressing, so if you don't like that, I advice you to not read it. Of course, there will be a third (and final) chapter as a conclusion, and I'm not about to give this a bad ending. ;)
> 
> Well, that's it! Feedback is welcome as always~ (My first multi-chaptered fanfic, oh gosh.)

The very last thing Nagito remembered before waking up, heart beating loud and face beaded with perspiration, were strong, familiar hands slipping through his fingers and falling forever, far from where he could reach. Immediately he forced himself in a sitting position and his eyes travelled through his cottage room nervously, searching for something he couldn’t find nor define. Uneasiness sticking to him like a second skin, he looked at his hands absently – they were trembling. He was scared.

When was the last time he had been scared? Flashes of broken memories raced through his mind – airplanes, screaming people, blood everywhere, his own tears – and they were gone again, after forcing himself to blink them away. The feeling lingered, however, and again his gaze was drawn towards his own hands. Too weak to hold onto the one that had been falling from his dream. Too weak to let go of him.

                Shivering, Nagito stepped out of his bed, his feet touching the wooden floor that lightly creaked under his weight. He tiptoed towards the window, as if the ground would collapse beneath him if he’d make too much noise. It was horrible – he almost couldn’t remember the time when he had felt this uneasy, this awful. He had long gotten used to fearful things, fear was merely something that made him feel numb and empty.

                Outside, the stars were visible in the fine night sky, just like that time when Hajime told him those words he couldn’t accept, leading to the actions he wanted to forget. He wished they would vanish just like the stars when the sun rose - but it was simply impossible. Just like those small lightbulbs in the sky, the memories would show themselves again as soon as night fell. It had been 10 days now, and for 10 nights already he had been unable to sleep well.

                Sighing, Nagito closed the curtains – he had once again forgotten to do that before he went to sleep. Maybe it would be a good idea to take a short walk before going back to lying in bed sleeplessly. What would ordinary people call it – clearing their head? It made Nagito laugh scornfully. Of course, he had always believed he was a lowly being, far below the ultimate talents, but he knew perfectly well that he was a little different from ordinary people as well, due to his absurd relationship with luck. Nagito was not someone who needed to ‘clear his head’, simply because he had learned to live with his thoughts. But now they were strange, and he couldn’t understand them. That’s why he opened the door and slipped outside to clear his head.

                The air smelled fresh and Nagito welcomed it by inhaling deeply. When he opened his eyes, he could see the other cottages lined up around him – there was nobody outside, of course not, for it was nighttime and most people did not wander during the night. He felt his gaze being drawn towards a certain place – where he knew a certain person would be, curled up in his bed, fast asleep. Nagito did not want to think of the deepness in his eyes, the sound of his voice, both the coldness and warmth of the words he had spoken to him on that evening. He did not want to think of his smell – a soft mix between the masculine deodorant he used and that one, comforting, typical scent that Nagito once described as _home_ … Sweet, yet fresh, warm, yet cool. Nagito did not want to think of his hands – rough yet gentle, caressing his face, stroking his messy hair, tracing his jaw line towards the nape of his neck…

Frustrated, he let out a quiet growl, trying to force the memories out by quickly pounding away, far from the cottages. The thoughts chased after him however, and he increased his pace, his vision blurry with fragments of imaginations.

                He had no idea where he was running. The air around him brushed past him with cool blows against his heated skin. The sensation seemed to calm him down and soon, he had outrun the memories. Just in time. Because he tripped and collapsed. As the world tumbled and turned around him, he laughed because he didn’t really know how to cry. Somehow, he wanted to crash into the ground violently, so he would actually feel something different than those absurd sensations running through his body. But of course, he didn’t. He was the – former – ultimate lucky student after all. So he only felt the sand tickling his skin softly as he collided with the earth. Apparently his feet had carried him all the way to the beach. That damn beach. Where it had all happened.

                Hajime hadn’t spoken a word to him ever since, acting like nothing had ever happened and even worse. He probably deserved it, and normally, he would feel good about getting something he deserved. Yet… he was feeling awful. He was a mess. And it was Hajime’s fault. Absently, Nagito rolled over so he was lying on his back, hands covering his eyes. There was nothing in this world he wanted to see – only darkness.

_I want to stay with you because I fell in love with you…_

Ah, there they were. The words. Without expression, but heavy with meaning. Nagito remembered the way his voice had been trembling slightly, but was still clear, determined, but soft. The expressionless look on his face, but still the depths in his eyes that were shaking. Nagito was intrigued by Hajime, so of course he was good at observing him. That’s the reason why he could see all those things. He knew perfectly well that Hajime wasn’t lying. And he wasn’t the type to lie about something like this anyway.

                But Nagito didn’t deserve his love. Didn’t want it. Couldn’t accept it. He was worthless, filthy, stupid, hateful, disgusting. He couldn’t accept Hajime devoting himself to him, touching him so softly like he was something precious that needed to be protected. He wasn’t precious. He was disgusting and needed to be hurt and thrown away. No love. Please no love…

                Hands touching his face, tracing invisible lines on his cheeks softly with strong yet gentle fingers, caressing and stroking, traveling slowly towards his neck… where he was sensitive apparently because it made him shiver and want to cry and…

He was disgusting.

Hajime slowly moving closer, and closer, until he was so close Nagito could feel his breath, that was both making him nervous and comfortable at the same time. His beautiful, beautiful eyes, filled with something Nagito was too scared of to comprehend. Still moving closer… Until their breaths became one and the same.

The memories were vivid and colorful, making Nagito’s body sensitive and hungry to relive them more than ever –

He was absolutely disgusting.

He only realized he was crying when the tears reached his lips and he could taste salt.

He was pathetic.

Hajime’s eyes were drowning him in his memories when his hands traveled downwards to touch the hem of his pants. As he closed his eyes he recalled the scent of his closeness… the scent he wanted to call _home_ more than anything in the world. His fingers reached underneath, touching the obvious bulb in his boxers softly with his thumb, shooting sensations through his whole body in the process and – _NO. NO NO NO NO_ he couldn’t!

                Flashes again. Terrible flashes. Of despair, of death, of a woman he despised more than anything. Of the world tumbling and falling, turning to ashes and dust. By his own hands. He didn’t deserve anything, he needed to atone and to think about these memories day and night, to swim in his own miseries. He couldn’t let go of them.

                A burning pain simmered through the skin of his lower abdomen, and it got stronger and stronger as if eating his flesh away. It shook him awake from the trance-like state with a scream he could only later identify as his own.

                When the dark spots dancing in front of his vision vanished into nothingness, he watched his hands in horror. They were covered with blood stains, and so was the skin just above the hem of his pants. Angry scratches covered his skin and Nagito could do nothing but submit to the tendency to let his head fall into his hands. A familiar sensation was bubbling in his stomach and he shuddered violently. For a while, there was nothing, until finally, maniac laughter filled the air.

                He could feel nails digging into his cheeks that had once been caressed so softly by the man he desired more than anything – and it was wonderful. If nobody would hurt him like he deserved, he would do it himself. For he couldn’t receive love. Love meant being close. Being close meant losing that certain person to the luck cycle he was cursed with. He couldn’t be selfish. It had been a huge mistake to get this attached to Hajime. And well, if he really cared so much for him, the disgusting garbage that he was, then he needed to stop himself right now. So Nagito laughed as he put more pressure in his fingertips, cried as he could finally feel blood dripping down, mingling with the tears in an ugly, filthy mess. He could only hope – hold onto that one thing that he was obsessed with – that this would be enough to stop him, to stop that part of himself that wanted so desperately to be selfish.

                But bad luck – or good luck? Nagito couldn’t understand anymore at that point, everything was a grey mess – chose to be on his side today. Two strong, but notably small hands closed around his writs, and forcefully pulled them away from his face.

                When he looked up to face the unavoidable confrontation that was waiting for him, he met golden eyes burning with angry flames.

Fuyuhiko Kuzuryuu squeezed his wrists forcefully – apparently he wasn’t about to let go of him anytime soon. Then he spoke. And Nagito braced himself because he expected shouting, but Fuyuhiko’s voice was surprisingly calm.

‘I have no idea what the fuck you’re doing, but it’s pointless and disgusting. I can’t stand to watch. Stop it.’

Nagito laughed, because his luck was just both so terrible and so amazing and he couldn’t identify anymore when the good was happening and when the bad. They just mixed and created this big grey void Nagito couldn’t understand. But yes, disgusting, he was definitely disgusting. Good. Very good.

Fuyuhiko pulled his arms and it hurt a little. ‘Stop it,’ he hissed. ‘You’re coming with me and you’re not leaving until I got you patched up. You look terrible. And you’re gonna tell me what happened in return whether you like it or not.’

Okay, that was bad. Yet he deserved this, maybe? Which meant it was good? He didn’t know and it made Nagito laugh some more, but no sound would come from his lips. He was tired and everything burned – he just wanted to sleep and never wake up.

                Fuyuhiko dragged him all the way back to the cottages, and didn’t let go of him until opening the door to his own and pushing Nagito down to sit on his bed. Through it all happening, there was nothing. Nothing he could feel, nothing he could think of, he felt numb.

‘Don’t move,’ Fuyuhiko ordered before disappearing in the bathroom.

Nagito didn’t move. His face hurt, his stomach did, too. Absently he raised his hands – they were still covered with red stains and Nagito felt a little nauseous. There was no way to explain this to Fuyuhiko… would he need to tell him everything? Wait – since when did he even start caring about things like these? Didn’t he always just, do whatever and didn’t really care about what people thought of him? He could easily just lie to Fuyuhiko, right? And it wouldn’t matter even when he obviously didn’t believe him? Or he could just tell him the truth and not care about his judgment either. An exhausted sigh escaped his lips before Nagito could stop it, and he rubbed his temples absently.

                Fuyuhiko returned with a first aid kit under his arm, and a wet towel he threw towards him. It landed perfectly on Nagito’s lap and he stared at it for a while, blinking.

‘Just get most of the blood off yourself,’ Fuyuhiko said while fumbling with opening the kit. ‘I’m gonna disinfect it and put some bandages on you.’

‘There’s no need-’ Nagito started. His voice sounded creaked, and his throat hurt.

‘Shut up,’ Fuyuhiko cut him off. ‘There’s a lot of need. Hurry up. You’re a man right? If you’re stupid enough to hurt yourself then face the consequences.’

Somehow, that made Nagito smile a little. He picked up the towel and started dabbing and wiping the bloodstains. It wasn’t that bad, but it still hurt. Well, it had definitely distracted his feelings, but it was just plain stupid. It didn’t solve any of his problems. Hajime was still there, his words had still happened, and Nagito still had to deal with it somehow.

‘Okay, that’s enough. Let me disinfect it now,’ Fuyuhiko said.

‘You know a lot about treating wounds,’ Nagito commented. ‘That’s surprising, I thought yakuza – hnghhh!’

His sentence was cut off by the stinging of alcohol mixing in his wounds and he had to bite his lower lip in order not to cry out.

‘Being top yakuza doesn’t mean we have people running around to treat our wounds all the time,’ Fuyuhiko said. ‘You got to take care of yourself or you won’t make it in the world. Well then, you owe me an explanation.’

Nagito chuckled a little, but it turned into a hiss when Fuyuhiko started disinfecting the scratches on his face. When the other boy was done, Nagito felt his shoulders relax and he let out a sigh.

‘I guess I do owe you one. But you probably won’t believe me.’ From the corners of his eyes, he watched Fuyuhiko carefully for a reaction, but there was nothing. He just kept messing through the first aid kit, trying to find the right bandages.

Nagito closed his eyes for a little while, and immediately he imagined Hajime’s face – the smooth, masculine features, the deepness in his one red and green eyes…

‘Ten days ago,’ Nagito said. ‘Hinata-kun told me he fell in love with me.’

Something clattered into the ground and Nagito turned to find out Fuyuhiko had dropped the scissors he was trying to cut the bandages with. The blonde boy blinked, then let out a cough and picked up the scissors again. ‘He… confessed to you?’

‘I guess he did,’ Nagito said. ‘But I can’t accept it.’ He could already feel the small flame igniting within him, growing and growing until it would finally burst. ‘I’m unworthy of his love and nothing good will come from me being around him. But he wouldn’t accept such an answer. He is stupid and stubborn and obviously doesn’t understand what he is saying.’

There were more words he wanted to say, but they were stopped by an intense pain colliding with his jaw. Nagito almost fell due to the impact and had to stabilize himself as he grabbed his jaw and met Fuyuhiko’s angry gaze. The boy lowered his fist, but never broke eye contact.

‘That is not for you to decide. You are running away like a coward. You gotta face his confession like a man. If you don’t, you’re better off dying somewhere in a ditch.’

Nagito laughed. ‘I’m better off dying in a ditch, anyways.’

He was grabbed by his collar then, those golden eyes burning into his own.

‘You’re making things way too complicated with your idiotic thinking. Be honest with yourself,’ Fuyuhiko growled, and then he let go of him and started applying bandages.

His words echoed in Nagito’s mind. Honest? But, he didn’t know. Nagito knew perfectly well that he was weak garbage and that’s why he wanted to grab Hajime’s love and stain him with his horrible luck cycle. But, the truth was that he needed to be strong and push Hajime away before he could be put in danger. Right?

‘You gotta use your head. And your heart. Both of them. And then act upon it,’ Fuyuhiko said. ‘But don’t you look down on Hinata. Don’t forget who he is.’ He applied the last small bandage and then put out his fist towards Nagito.

‘We’re even now. Make sure to follow my advice. And don’t do something stupid like that again.’

Nagito understood and softly pushed his own fist against Fuyuhiko’s. When he looked up to meet his gaze, Fuyuhiko was grinning a little bit.

Nagito’s head was spinning. Everything was still grey, but his mind was getting a little less hazy.

‘Thank you,’ Nagito said and he got up. He was craving sleep more than anything.

‘I’ve never heard you say that before,’ Fuyuhiko said.

Nagito shrugged and waved him goodbye with an awkward smile. When he was outside, he watched the stars for a short while before returning to his own cottage. They were big and beautiful, shining like guiding lights in the endless dark sky. They never failed to calm him down. Only he just forgot to look at them properly sometimes.


End file.
